Choosing Faith Over Fear

“What is your earliest memory?” I was asked in a seminar on Life Memories.

I had to dig deep to find an answer, but slowly a scene came to mind.

I was three or four years old in our church Sunday school room with a couple other children. We were the last left, waiting for our parents to come get us. “My mom will come first,” I confidently announced to the others.

But she was not first. Feelings of fear began growing inside me as the other parents came and left with their children. Surely it wasn’t long before my mom appeared, but it felt like forever to me. I don’t remember the relief of her showing up as much as the fear she might not.

I shouldn’t be surprised that my earliest memory as a child is connected to a fear. Science tells us that when a person experiences trauma, adrenaline and other neurochemicals rush to the brain and imprint a picture, a memory of what happened. And fear of abandonment is common for children to experience.

Now as an adult, I’d like to think I’ve learned to tame my fears with the strength of my faith. I’ve had plenty of practice with what I call “faith tests,” which I believe God allows so we learn to make choices based on faith (truth) rather than fears (feelings). But I’m often a slow learner.

Just recently, a friend and I were having a casual conversation and realized we disagreed on a current controversial issue in our community. The power of my feelings surprised me as we voiced our differing opinions and then tried to gloss over the awkward ending. Driving home, I knew I could have handled the conversation better and I owed her an apology. But I dreaded the thought of revisiting the situation with her and slowly convinced myself it was fine to let it go.

Yet the next morning, the conviction of my faith brought me back to what I knew was true, that I did need to apologize to my friend. So I stepped over my fear and called her, and the feeling of relief was a blessing.

How the Bible Helps

God’s most repeated command in the Bible is “fear not.” But faith tests are teaching me that often I have to just “do it scared.”

The Bible is filled with examples of God’s people overcoming their fears, standing on their faith. Doing it while being scared.

God told Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but they were pursued by angry Egyptians on fast horses. Imagine the Israelites’ fears when they got to the edge of the Red Sea. God told Moses how to part the sea, but it took great faith for the Israelites to step onto the path of dry ground with huge walls of water on both sides. They had to trust God’s provision. They had to step in and do it even though they were scared.

What I know to be true is that our smaller daily decisions to choose faith over fear prepare us for life’s bigger fearful challenges. I lived through many small faith tests before facing the greatest challenge of my life.

Faith Tested

We were on vacation in the Colorado mountains when my husband, Lynn, at age fifty-five, suddenly suffered a severe brain bleed and his life depended upon getting him to a brain surgeon on the other side of the mountains before it was too late. He was unconscious when he was lifted into a small plane. I climbed in by the pilot. Lynn was on a gurney in back, with a medic on either side. The line on the only monitor I could see fluctuated . . . and then flat-lined. I thought Lynn had died, especially because the medics wouldn’t make eye contact with me, and the sound of the plane was too loud for conversation. I looked out the window at the snow-capped mountain peaks below and beautiful blue sky above and suddenly experienced a total sense of peace that passed all understanding. “Lord,” I prayed, “if You have chosen to take Lynn here, thank You for this heavenly setting.”

The plane landed, and one of the medics gave me a thumbs up as they quickly rolled Lynn into the hospital where a neurosurgeon was waiting.

“Can you save him?” I frantically asked the doctor.

“I can keep his heart beating, but I don’t know about his brain,” he answered.

Hours later, the surgeon emerged to tell our gathered family that Lynn had survived the surgery, but his most critical challenges were ahead.

I felt overwhelmed by all the unknowns. A dear friend, who showed up at the hospital, took my hands and faced me, eye to eye. “Everything that has happened in your life until now has prepared you for what you are facing. Trust God and hold on to faith.

Her words reminded me of a scripture I’d often repeated about God’s angel preparing the way on a fearful journey: “See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared” (Exodus 23:20, NIV).

God’s promises and my friend’s words gave me strength through the long days Lynn was in a coma, followed by weeks of his slow progress in a rehab facility. Today, years later, Lynn and I continue our journey, trusting that God will prepare our way and give us what we need when we need it.

Written by Carol Kuykendall (Guideposts).